Archive for the 'General' Category

I remember having a conversation around the dinner table when I was a teenager. The meal was winding down and as was usual in our family, we began to discuss subjects of interest to us. This was often a time when my Mother and Father would impart their wisdom to us and we, as children, would be able to share our insights. I think that at this time, my eldest bother had already left for the Navy so it was my parents, my older brother Anthony, myself and my two younger sisters.

Somehow the conversation turned to a point where I made the statement, "I will never work for a living." My Father was aghast! He actually became angry at this point and considered my statement to be absolutely incorrect in any context. I was confused and startled by his response.

The point that I was making at the time was that it is better to do something that is fun and get paid for that than to go to work at a job you hate, just to "make a living". I continued to defend my position though my Dad felt that it was incorrect on principle. My Mom just sat back and smiled.

After I graduated from high school I had the opportunity to work in an auto manufacturing plant during the summer before I headed off to Purdue. I was working the night shift and the work was 10 hours per day, 6 days a week. I never thought about it at the time, but my family probably had to pull some strings to get me that job. Had I stuck with it over the summer, I would have had enough money to cover all of my college expenses.

I lasted two weeks.

I couldn’t take it, I felt like I was working as some kind of general purpose robot. After a couple of days, I would dream of the cars coming down the assembly line conveyor. I would wake up in the dark and go to sleep in the dark and never see the sun, and this was during the summer!

The guy who worked next to me was high all the time and yet he still got his work done. After a while I understood why.

That experience confirmed for me my conviction that I would never "work" for a living.

I recognize in retrospect that I am truly blessed. The work that I love to do is in demand and it pays quite well. Even so, there have been times when I have envied the folks who could go to a job and have no real attachment to what they were doing and then come home and "have a life" away from their "work". Finding a balance between the work that I love and the rest of my life has been a struggle. Not only that, I also have a BS metric. As long as a job is at least 50% fun, I can do it without emotional stress. I have never found a job that passed that metric for more than a day or so, and I have always (until the DOT.COM bubble burst) been able to find work within a matter of a couple of weeks.

I honestly have no clue what it is like to get up and go to a job that I don’t enjoy. This has often left me clueless when it comes to empathizing with those who have spent their whole life struggling to make ends meet by any means necessary. That pretty much covers most the adult population of the US.

When I hear someone say, "I have some things that I have to do." I think to my self, "why?" Why do you have to do anything? Who is forcing this on you? Is it right that you should be compelled to do something that you don’t really want to do? Shouldn’t people do what it is that they want instead of what it is that they must?

What is it about our society, even our world, that people are not able, or allowed, to do what it is that they desire to do the most? It seems clear to me that the person who receives a bunch of money who is then able to do whatever they choose does not usually find happiness. Therefore, I can’t see it as just being able to live without having to work. For me, it is the fulfillment of my purpose in life. That is what I want more than anything else. I need only to be aware of that purpose and have the opportunity to express it. The logical expression of that purpose for me is to share it with the world. It is in the gift of giving of my self in the form of fulfilling my purpose that my greatest desire is fulfilled.

So, I think I’ll keep on doing what I want to do…

It seems like I have heard these words so many times in my life.

This blog is somewhat new and I expect to get into some fairly deep philosophical, theoretical and metaphysical subjects so, I figured I should make myself clear on this point.

The short answer is "I DON"T KNOW!"

Now this may seem like a stupid answer. It’s OK with me if you feel that way. I do respect all opinions. However, I hope that you will accept the fact that there is some specific reasoning that goes into that answer.

Consider the concept of knowledge and knowing.

When you know something, all the learning is done. There is nothing more to be perceived. There is no further purpose in even contemplating the nature of that which is known. The only value in an interaction with that knowledge is in what you can do with it.

I see the experience of "knowing" something to be a significant limitation. Why should I accept the knowledge that I already have as being all that can possibly be known about a subject? If I do accept that limitation, doesn’t that also limit what I can do with the subject?

Now when I consider myself as the subject of knowledge, and given the information above, any acceptance of self knowledge would be a limitation of self. Here are the rules associated with this thought process.

1. Certain knowledge is the awareness of the immutable truth about a subject.
2. Any immutable truth is unchanging.
3. Anything that is unchanging is limited in space and time.
4. Space and time are infinite.
5. The existence of any finite object within an infinite space is equivalent to no existence at all (n + infinity = infinity + 0 therefore, in the algebra of infinite spaces, any number n is equivalent to 0, mathematicians, please correct me if this is wrong!).
6. Therefore, any certain knowledge is equivalent to no knowledge at all!

Now, you may think that this is just a silly exercise in circular thinking and from a classical philosophical point of view, that may be true. I certainly have not been classically trained. I have not read the writings of the ancient or modern western philosophers so, according to their teachings, this argument could be totally meaningless.

Honestly, what matters to me is how I feel about the argument.

I choose to see my self in an unlimited context. Any certain knowledge of self would place a limitation upon self.

Now that we have discussed the philosophical perspective, let’s get a bit more practical.

I do not see myself as some kind of scientific, moral, philosophical or technological authority on any subject. I’m just a guy who loves to play with intellectual models. I have this world that I carry around with me that I like to call my "techno-space". In that place, there is an infinite tree of possibilities that I clime through and expand my awareness of on a regular basis. I can’t say if I’m building this model as I go along or if it has always been there and I’m discovering it. I can say that there is a kind of mental energy that flows through this thought form and when something "fits" some portion of the tree "vibrates" or "rings true". The more of the tree that vibrates, the greater is my joy and bliss.

Everything that I experience is quickly related to this model. I easily transition from one "place" on this model to another and am aware of the transitions as I flow. Sometimes I see a complete solution to a problem fully formed off in the distance. The realization of that solution as a software application is what I do for a living, but I do not always get the opportunity to participate in that process. Usually, it is because no one is willing to pay me to participate in the solution. It is just a likely though that I am not able to participate because those who have the resources could not possibly believe that I could have the foggiest idea what I’m talking about.

I do not necessarily disagree with that assessment.

I do not claim to know the "truth" or the "answer" or anything of that sort. I only claim to enjoy modeling. If my models are of value, so be it.

Part of what provides value for my models is accurate input. In order to connect concepts and ideas, I need to have information. It is the desire for this information that sometimes makes me so intense with regard to knowing what is on someones mind. The closer that I am to that person, the more intense is my desire to model them fully. It is in attaching my perceptions of each person that I meet to The Tree that I may experience the true beauty of that person.

I literally LOVE this. I LOVE perceiving humanity in all its variety and complexity. I accept all that I perceive as part and parcel of the whole. Sometimes, I think that I am looking upon the tree of life in the Garden of Eden. The beauty of reality is so stunning and so incredible that I literally feel as if my heart will burst with the sheer joy of the experience!

So, I don’t claim to know a lot, though I’ll often speak with authority on many subjects. I am simply sharing my awareness of The Tree.

I encourage anyone, particularly classically or scientifically trained experts to respond to anything that I might say or write with any information that they might have that will expand my awareness of any subject. Consider the information that I share a starting point for what could become serious research if at all possible. If there is anything that I can do to contribute, I would be honored, but I am under no illusions that a person such as myself, without any specific credentials in the myriad fields that I perceive within my techno-space, would be considered credible in any way.

I am full of concepts and I need to let them flow. To the extent that they are acceptable I feel truly blessed.