Truth: Part I

What exactly is truth, and what is really true?

I have been seeking the answer to that question for many years, perhaps my whole life. Some might ask why I would pursue such an ephemeral question that has little practical value in the “real world”.

Well, the “real world” is the question isn’t it? What is really real and what is “just in my imagination”? When I was a very young child, I remember waking up in the middle of the night and fearing the dark. I did something that I rarely remember doing, and came into my parent’s room and climbed into the bed with them. I don’t recall if I was on my Mother’s side of the bed or my Father’s. I remember lying there on the edge with my back snuggled comfortably up against one or the other of them and feeling safer than I had at night in a long time. As I lay there I noticed that there was a book floating in front of me. The spine of the book was parallel to the floor and the pages were turning slowly. The book seemed to glow brightly like the after images that you see with your eyes closed just after staring briefly at a bright light. I could see symbols in the book, but I did not understand them. I suppose that I was too young to know how to read and I can’t make them out clearly any more in my memory.

The question is, was this experience, and other similar experiences that I have had, real or “just my imagination” as I was told by my parents?

Sometimes the images that I saw were quite frightening but I think I was more frightened by the fact that my parents could not see what I saw and they told me that it wasn’t real. Eventually, I no longer saw these images or, maybe I just no longer recognize them and register them in my consciousness. I still have “feelings” though and my internal dialog can be very powerful on occasion.

Now, I have come to recognize that there are things that I perceive that others do not. I have made good use of this capability in that it helps me to create models of concepts in ways that many people do not. This, of course, is one of the talents that is extremely useful for an application architect and, for the most part, I have ignored my internal world except where it is relevant to my work. I suppose one of the reasons why I enjoy my work so is that I can play in this “imaginary world”.

I have been working with my older brother Mike for the past five years or so on improving my health. As I began to practice the Tai-Chi and Chi-Kung that he teaches, I began to realize that some of the experiences that I relegated to “imagination” may have actually been experiences of the flow of Chi. The “bringing Chi to the hands” that he teaches, I have experienced since I was probably 12 or 13 years old. At that time I was practicing Yoga and I suppose I was experiencing Chi spontaneously. I have now met my Lady Love, Brenda, and she can feel Chi and responds to the flow of this energy quite readily. The exchanging of energy with her is more wonderful than anything that I could ever have dreamed.

This brings up a small problem though, I no longer can simply assume that many experiences that I have had in the past, and those that I am having now, are mere fantasy. The fact that others also are able to experience some of these things is evidence that there is a shared reality that exists beyond my little corner of the collective consciousness.

So, the search is on now in earnest. I need to know what is true and what is fantasy.